


A Dyslexic Man Walks into a Bra...

by writersblock101



Series: "Why Couldn't I Have Been an Only Child?" [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Jokes, Siblings, also sorry for not including Damian and Duke, at some point I will write something with the girls I promise, including too many siblings gets complicated after a while, patroling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23189779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersblock101/pseuds/writersblock101
Summary: Patroling on a slow night is nice... When you're not joined by a bored Nightwing.
Series: "Why Couldn't I Have Been an Only Child?" [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664611
Comments: 11
Kudos: 100





	A Dyslexic Man Walks into a Bra...

Sometimes, slow nights on patrol are nice. Being able to relax on a Gotham rooftop and cut up with whatever sibling is patrolling that night is fun. Other times, it’s nice to sit alone and stare out at Gotham and appreciate its gloomy beauty. 

Tonight is not one of those nights. 

“Hey, Red Hood,” Nightwing pokes his ribs with a grin.

Red ignores him but knows that will not deter his brother at all. 

“Why did the blind man fall in the well?” 

Red sighs.  _ Because he’s blind?  _

“Because he couldn't see that well,” Nightwing laughs while Red sighs, staring down into the street. 

_ Come on, someone please get stabbed or something or I’m going to end up stabbing Nightwing.  _

“Hey, Red,” Nightwing says again. 

Red sighs heavily. 

“Why are there gates around cemeteries?” 

“To keep zombified sixteen-year-olds from getting hit by a car?” 

“No, because people are dying to get in!” 

Red sighs again. 

“That wasn’t even a good death joke.” 

“Okay, well how about this one? Why do seagulls fly over the sea?” 

“Wing, I don’t care--”

“Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!” 

Red groans. 

“You’re lucky I’m tired because if I was fully awake, I would’ve already shoved you off this rooftop.” 

_“Like that would stop him,”_ Red Robin scoffs over the comms. _“I’m surprised you haven’t killed him yet.”_

“You know, I keep trying, but nobody lets me get very far,” Red Hood grins behind his helmet. 

Nightwing makes an indigent noise.

“You haven’t tried to kill me in years!” 

“There’s no time like the present.” 

Nightwing rolls his eyes. 

“Well, good thing Batman has a no-killing rule in Gotham.” 

_ “You keep going and I might make an exception,”  _ Batman comments over the comms. 

“Besides,” Red grins. “Who says I would kill you in Gotham?” 

“‘Wow, Dick, you’re the Golden Boy’ they said,” Nightwing muses. “‘Who could possibly hate you?’ they said. If they only knew!” 

_ “Let’s be real here, Nightwing,”  _ Red Robin begins.  _ “If we ever killed you and showed the jury a list all of the bad jokes and puns you’ve told us, they wouldn’t convict us.”  _

“I love patrolling with family,” Nightwing groans sarcastically. “It’s  _ so _ much fun.” 

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always saying we need to spend more time together,” Red Hood points out. 

“Yeah, well, I take it back. You guys suck.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Got any request or ideas for our favorite superhero family to get up to? Sent me a message on tumblr @writingblock101


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